Seeing The Goodness of God in the Hard Seasons.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever. Psalm 26:6

It was the end of the summer of 2021. We were getting ready for our oldest son’s wedding that would be the following month. We were so excited for them! For a few months our son had been complaining that his lower back had been hurting. He was very involved in CrossFit and we just thought he had pulled a muscle. He went to the Chiropractor for a couple months hoping they would have a solution.. When that did not help he made an appointment with an orthopedic doctor thinking it was muscular.

Two weeks later our son went back for his follow up appointment. I still remember this so well. Them walking up to our front door. I instantly knew it wasn’t good news. I, my husband, soon to be daughter in law and our son sat down at the kitchen table. They were both in shock but what our son got out was “They think I have cancer.” He was 31 years old when he found out.

As I sit here and write these words I still have to stop and just humbly bow and praise God. He was so good to us through this time. Was this journey an easy journey?  Definitely not! Definitely hard for my son and his now wife. But it was also hard on his family, his friends, the people who loved him so much. It was hard to be a new wife and also a caretaker to her husband in such an intimate and raw way after being married only a week before. But for me his wife’s care of my son was one of many ways God showed me His goodness.

I am going to take the next few weeks to share more of this story from my point of view. Mainly to share how God is so good in the midst of our very hard days. Their story is theirs to share and with their permission I might share some of it. But my hope is as you read my story, our family’s story that you will be encouraged to hope again. To look for God’s goodness every single day. Even in those days when you don’t want to get out of bed. Those days when you don’t know how life will ever get better. I hope my post will give you courage to take the next step in trusting that God is good and His mercies are new everyday. We  just have to have the courage to look for them. 

I hope you will come back and allow me to share what God taught me during this journey and how I fought daily to see God’s goodness in the hardest part of my story. 

If you are reading this and are really struggling today to see God’s goodness. Please go to the contact page and send me a message and allow me to be praying for you. God loves you so much! 

In Christ,

Teresa

Lesson 1 - Trusting God in the Diagnosis

As a mom, you never stop hurting when your kids are hurting. And there is nothing I love more than being a wife and mother. Something else about me is I am by nature a fixer. I want to come in and make it all go away. But as I sat at the kitchen table that day as our son said those words, “They think I have cancer” I felt helpless. I could not fix this one. I had to right then and there, make a decision. I had to decide was I going to lose my mind trying to control this situation or was I going to lay it in God’s hands and trust Him. I chose to trust Him. Now hear this, there were days on this journey that I had hard conversations with God. There were a lot of conversations where I cried and told God I didn't understand what He was doing. (I am going to share that with you in another post soon. Because I found a lot of healing in those conversations.)

I left off in the last post that the orthopedic doctor told him he thought he had cancer. They sent him to an oncologist. I still remember standing in the parking lot of the oncologist office with my husband waiting on my son and soon to be wife to come out. ( Covid days - couldn’t go in the office with them.) As they come out of the door, just like when they came to my front door the week before, I knew it wasn’t good news. We had a diagnosis. He had Lymphoma! If you aren’t familiar with this term. It is a blood cancer. There are many forms.

Funny how everyone in situations like this respond in such different ways. Some have peace, some question why, Some get angry for a time, some are simply quiet. I think between the four of us standing in the parking lot. We had all those emotions. In that moment I had a thought again, “ Are you going to trust Me in this?” And I had to again decide that I was going to trust God in this journey. No matter what! Which led me to looking for a miracle every single day. And declaring God’s goodness even when life is hard. And man this one was hard!

The plan was that they would get married and go on their honeymoon. Then treatment would start. There wedding was so beautiful and amazing. Although Covid hit our house two weeks before and his dad missed his wedding. That was pretty sad for all of us. ( I am telling you this season hit us all hard.) (We did redo the wedding for his dad on his birthday. That was a very special moment! But their wedding day was indescribable. Our son felt really good that day. His wife was absolutely stunning. The day was beautiful. God even sent us a rainbow. Which reminded us all of His faithfulness. (Whew! Tears still come as I write this!) As they were surrounded by so many family and friends. Not just that were supporting them but praying for them. Again God’s goodness.

As the wedding went so well, the honeymoon took another turn. I will share in the next post about how we watched God go before us in so many ways.

I hope my journey will encourage you to trust God even when things are hard. He is faithful. But He is Sovereign. As my story unfolds you will see that true surrender took a lot more time. Laying everything down is easy to sing but harder to do. But that is where peace is found. On the other side of surrender.

Be encouraged,

Teresa